Breathe
by SlayerRyoko
Summary: Sequal to "Hold On." Chloe keeps trying to forget Lex. It isn't working. CHLEX Set after Asylum


Title: Breathe  
  
Summary: Sequal to "Hold On." Chloe keeps trying to forget Lex. It isn't working. CHLEX Set after Asylum.  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own SmallVille or the song "Breathe."  
  
***   
I  
Played the fool today  
And I  
Can see us vanishing into the crowd  
Longing for home again  
But home  
Is a feeling I buried in you  
***   
  
Well, there he is again. Sitting in the same spot with his coffee. He often looks so sad and I can understand. He wants to remember and heel knows I want him to remember. But he can never know. It's for his own good. Every inch of me hurts when I look at him. I act like nothing happened between us. We are just friends of a friend, nothing more. We never made out, or feel in love. At least, he never fell in love with me. I fell for him, and how could I not? He is amazing. I love him. We both know what we want and will do anything to get it. We are both Truthseekers which could be bad for him. If he where to find out that stuff again, he could die. I couldn't take that, I just couldn't So I sit back and act like I don't know him.  
  
To often I find myself close to him. Whenever he is even within two feet of me I feel the need to kiss him. He still smells the same, I know he does. I love that smell. It's Lex in every since of the word. My Alexander. I called him Xander for a while after my favorite TV show, Buffy. But I won't call him that again. If I do, then I will remember his lips on mine, his fingers on my face. So no. I can never, ever call him that again.  
  
"Good evening, Miss Sullivan," I hear him say and look up. I must have been day dreaming because I didn't even see him coming. "Deep in thought, I see." He sits down across from me.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." We haven't talked since he came back. This is hard on me. "How are you, Xander?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Oh crap. I did not jsut call him that, did I? "Nothing. Sorry." My breathing is growing more shallow and I sure hope he doesn't notice. I didn't know anything could hurt this much.  
  
***  
I'm alright  
I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
***   
  
"So how are you?" I ask.  
  
"Oh, you know," He says. That's all that is said for a long moment. I don't want to pry anymroe because I know this must be hard for him.  
  
"So umm..."  
  
"Chloe," he says before I can finish, "I heard you came to see me in Bella Reeve. I wanted to thank you."  
  
"Thank me, why?" I raise my eyebrow wondering what he had heard.  
  
"I know that you must have known how mean I was to Clark when he came. I hope I wasn't the same to you."  
  
"No, Lex, you where..." quite gentle, really, "...fine."  
  
***  
And I can't ask for things to be still again  
No I can't ask for you  
To offer the world through your eyes  
Longing for home again  
But home  
Is a feeling I buried in you  
***  
  
Why do I feel so at home with him? I mean, he only loved me when he was crazy, right? Why does talking to him feel....feel like home? I could talk to him forever. Is that normal?  
  
He's looking at me sort of weird. I feel very shy under the gaze of those blue eyes. "Is there something you aren't telling me, Chloe?"  
  
I laugh. "Of course not." I lie threw my teeth.  
  
"Did you know that when you lie, you blink twice?" Lex asks. I gasp. Only Lana knows that, when did he find out. He smirks at me. "Come on, Chloe, you can tell me." He frowns suddenly. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
  
"No, of course not, Lex."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
***  
I'm alright  
I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
I'm alright  
I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
  
My window through which  
Nothing hides  
And everything sings  
I'm counting the signs  
And cursing the miles in between  
***  
  
I look away from him. I can't tell him. There will be to many questions. If he is going to love me, I want him to know he loves me first. He moves to sit right next to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder. I shutter. I've missed his touch. So soft and sweet. So caring. So...loving? Oh hell, can this be true? Can he really have loved me before his father and Bella Reeve?  
  
"Please Tell me, Chloe," he takes my chin and turns my head so he is looking me in the eyes. "Everyone keeps avoiding my questions. I need to know this. Did I say something to know I need to know about?"  
  
***  
But home  
Is a feeling I buried in you  
That I buried in you  
  
I'm alright  
I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
I'm alright  
I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe  
***  
  
"Yes," I whisper.  
  
"What did I tell you?" He asks.  
  
"You told me... that you loved me."  
  
He smiles softly and kisses me. I close my eyes. Life suddenly seems very perfect. I'm in his arms, he is kissing me.  
  
And then he is gone... gone with the wind. He was never sitting there, never talking to me. He's talking to Clark, smiling. He will never know no matter what. I breathe in and out. When did breathing start to hurt so much?  
  
***  
When I breathe  
It only hurts when I breathe  
When I breathe  
It only hurts when I breathe  
*** 


End file.
